Freedom at last and the nature of memory

Yesterday during Two Men Talking I experienced Freedom!! We have now performed 18 times. And though we have permission (our own, who else's) to keep changing the stories, to have no particular order or script, it had started to happen that we were telling stories in a particular order. I was starting to feel like I was in a play, and even had moments of boredom at my own stories. And then yesterday, nothing was as ever before. It truly felt as though we were telling stories from our lives to a group of people in our living room. We had fun, we got lost and I even sang songs that I never dreamed I'd sing in public...I went on a bit, till Murray said to me "Paul this is TWO men talking". I had real embarrassment. We had real laughter and it was energizing and stimulating of memories. What I have realized is that the rigor of eighteen days in a row, has given the foundation of safety in basic storytelling to an audience. I have the confidence to know that I can tell a personal story to an audience, using my body, voice while moving around the space, and making contact with the audience and with Murray...After eighteen performances, I also know that Murray and I can co-create a story. We have proven that to ourselves over and over again. So with a music analogy, we have been practicing scales, and now we are allowing ourselves to play jazz....As for the nature of memory. I have told these stories so many times that I cannot anymore remember the original incident. I now remember the telling of the incident. I think. I also have the sensation of "remembering" Murray's history. I wasn't there, but if you ask me, I can't quite tell the difference between my own "memories" and my "memories" of Murray's stories. The only difference is that my conscious mind knows that I was not present for his so they are not true memories. History is re-written through storying. For example, my early years at King David High School were lonely. But having excavated that history so deeply together with Murray, though in reality we were not friends then, my experience of my history has shifted, such that I know feel as if I had a comrade, a friend....such is the power of story.